Barely Breathing
by behind.my.bright.blue.eyes
Summary: When Macey has a mishap, she knows for sure her friends will be there for her-always have, always will. So when a special someone comes to help her out, a special someone that happens to be a spy, she's all game. Rated T for a kiss or more here and there.
1. Chapter 1

Barely Breathing: A Songfiction From the untold view of Ms. Macey McHenry. 

_Based off of Breathe (2 am) by Anna Nalick. I suggest listening to the song while you read it._

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><p>My eyes were glued to the ceiling as my heart ached with only the thought of him. I'd never really been in love, although I'd actually thought I had. But I guess I never knew how much a person could change.<p>

I glanced over to the small alarm clock on my bedside table.

The little red numbers glowed bright through the darkness of my room.

_1:59 am_, it read.

I couldn't believe myself. How did I let all that happen?

I was a Gallagher girl—not to mention the fact that I was also the daughter of a world famous senator!

I got sloppy. I totally screwed up.

And now . . . I really didn't know what to do.

I looked back to my clock. A single tear fell down my cheek.

_2:00 am._

I picked up my phone, dialing Cam. I needed her help.

**2 am and she calls me 'cause I'm still awake. **

**Can you help me unravel my latest mistake? **

**I don't love him, Winter**(s) **just wasn't my season.**

Winters.

Preston Winters.

Everything had happened so fast.

And I guess I just needed some help.

I guess he just wasn't the one.

"Cam? . . . Can you meet me somewhere?"

"Macey? Are you Okay?"

She sounded exhausted.

But was I okay? I didn't know if I could answer that.

"Sure," Cammie started, "Where?"

"I'll meet you near that coffee shop on 24th."

"See you in a bit," she said.

"Cam?" I asked slowly.

"Yeah?" she responded.

"You're the best."

"Love you, Mace. See ya soon."

"Love you, Cams," I whispered.

And with that, I hung up.

I rolled out of bed and, as quietly as I could, changed out of my pajamas.

I slipped on my jacket, pulled my hair back, and slid open my second story window, praying my parents would hear me, as I climbed out of the fortress _they _called home.

I rappelled down the rain gutter and landed softly on the grass. I made my way to the coffee shop slowly in the darkness. So far, so good.

I reached the shop within minutes, only to find Cam waiting, inside.

The glow of the sign illuminated my face and read: _24 Hour Coffee Shop—24 Flavors—on 24__th__ street._

I opened the door and took my seat next to Cam.

"Hey, Mace . . . What's up?"

"Cam . . . me . . . and then . . . Preston . . .and like . . .it just . . . happened . . . we were at a party . . . and drunk . . . and it's just—"

She cut me off.

"It's okay, Macey. Bex told me."

How Bex had known? . . . I had no clue.

My palms were sweating. And suddenly, it felt way too hot in here.

"So . . ." she began, "Are you . . . ya know?"

I nodded. Yeah, I was . . . well, prego, as they say.

And I seriously didn't know what to do about it . . .

I was supposed to return to my final semester at Gallagher in less than a week . . .

Senior year . . .

Graduation . . .

"I think I know what to do," she said slowly, her eyes filling up with tears. We stood up and went outside, slowly making our way to the hospital.

We finally arrived, parked the car, and got out.

**Yeah, we walk through the doors, so accusing, their eyes. **

**Like they have any right at all to criticize—hypocrites, **

**you're all here for the very same reason.**

"**Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. **

**And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. **

**No one can find the rewind button, girl. **

There was no I way I could fix what had happened. No going back. No second chances.

And it seemed as if this was the only other solution. . . to put my life back in order . . . well, as back in order as a Gallagher girl's life could ever be . . .

I could work through this. I just needed to relax.

**So cradle your head in your hands. **

**And breathe, just breathe. Oh breathe, just breathe.**

**May, he turned 21 on the base at fort bliss. **

**"Just a day," he said down to the flask in his fist, **

**"Ain't been sober, since maybe October of last year." **

Ever since our fathers had lost the election, Preston had started all the drinking. He was a few years older than me. So he had just turned 21.

**Here in town you can tell he's been down for a while, **

**but my God, it's so beautiful when the boy smiles. **

**Wanna hold him. Maybe I'll just sing about it.**

He texted me a while ago, telling me about how they had put him on restraint from alcohol, so he said he was doing better.

But he didn't even ask about me.

I thought he had loved me.

I guess I thought wrong.

I'd eventually just . . . get over him.

'**Cause you can't jump the track, we're like cars on a cable. **

**And life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. **

**No one can find the rewind button, boys. **

**So cradle your head in your hands. **

**And breathe, just breathe. Oh breathe, just breathe.**

**There's a light at each end of this tunnel. **

**We shout "cause you're just as far in as you'll ever be out. **

**and these mistakes you make, you'll just make them again if you only try turning around.**

I was stick in the middle of a total suckfest.

There was goodness on the outside. And I didn't know if I could ever get out. And I could never redo it. Any of it. Ever.

**2am and I'm still awake writing a song. **

**If I get it all down on paper, it's no longer inside of me, threatening the life it belongs to.**

2am and I'm still here in the hospital . . .

Waiting . . .

Committing this all to memory.

I thought that maybe if I got it all out . . . then maybe . . .

Just _maybe_ I could feel . . . better.

**And I feel like I'm naked in front of the crowd 'cause **

**these words are my diary screaming out loud and**

**I know that you'll use them however you want to.**

I was so embarrassed.

What if someone else. . . on the outside . . . found out?

**But you can't jump the track we're like cars on a cable **

**and life's like an hourglass, glued to the table. **

**No one can find the rewind button now, **

**so sing it if you understand. And breathe, just breathe.**

In and out.

**Oh breathe, just breathe.**

**Oh breathe, just breathe. And breathe, just breathe.**

"Macey McHenry?" a young nurse called, "The doctor will see you now."

Just relax Macey . . . and everything will be fine . . .

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><p><strong>AN: yayyyy songfiction-y-ness. just to letcha peoples know, i am going to continue this story but its not gonna be a songfic. you'll see what happens.**

**review. :)**


	2. Why on Earth?

Chapter Two: Why on earth?

We exited the doors, and were practically tackled by a ton of people . . .

With cameras . . .

Snapping pictures . . .

Of . . .

Me?

"Ms. McHenry?" one reporter yelled, "Is it true you were here to get an abortion?" he said as he held a small recorder to my mouth.

It was so loud out here.

Why did they care anyway?

Seriously.

"Why. Are. They. Here?" I slowly asked Cammie.

"Your dad."

"Excuse me?" I questioned.

"You're dad, Macey. He's famous."

"Crap," I whispered, although I doubt anyone there understood what we were saying at all . . . because this whole conversation was taking place in Farsi.

"Um. . ." I finally said to the reporter . . .

How was I supposed to answer this?

It would be on every newsstand in the country in just a few hours if I responded or not. I could see the headlines now: _"Macey McHenry—daughter of state senator—gets abortion!"_

So what the hell was I supposed to do about it?

Honestly, how did these people even find me? It was like 4:30 in the morning for crying out loud!

"Well . . ." I started again . . . but I didn't know what was ending that sentence, in the first place.

"No, it isn't true," I heard someone say in a hard voice, "She was here for _me_."

It took me a second to realize that that was the voice of someone I knew.

Someone who had roomed with me for the last two years.

So why on earth did Cammie Morgan just say that?

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><p>Next morning's newspaper (andor magazine covers) didn't surprise me at all.

"_Macey McHenry—found at hospital last night with best friend—Cameron Morgan—for abortion."_

Why did she cover for me like that?

I flipped through one of the many magazines until I found the article:

"_Macey McHenry—daughter of Senator McHenry—found at the hospital last night with best friend, Cameron Morgan—a fellow roommate at the Gallagher Academy. Although sources had first expected that it was McHenry there to get the abortion, further sources proved to tell that Morgan was the one receiving it. Who the man in question is, remains unknown—"_

Crap.

This was bad.

This was very, very bad.

What if headmistress Morgan saw?

Could she actually believe that?

And who would she blame?

Cammie . . . or whoever she would suspect got Cam "pregnant"?

Zach was away for the CIA . . .

So could she blame him?

But what if Zach saw?

He'd probably kill whoever he thought "impregnated" her!

So what would he do?  
>Abort his mission?<p>

What if Solomon found out?

He'd probably think it was Zach and, well . . . cut _something _off . . .

Then he'd tell Mr. Smith, who'd make a "no-more-Blackthorne-Boy-and-or-Gallagher-girl-exchanges-for-the-next-decade" rule!

Tina Walters was probably instant messaging every person she ever made eye contact with an entire story about how Cam cheated on Zach with a Russian Mobster looking for fine arts in the mid-west.

Of course, she would have told Zach. Who probably would have told her that her "sources" were complete and total bull and she could stick it up her—well, lets just say it was in Arabic . . . and it wasn't very nice.

What if my parents saw?

They would see . . .

The fortress of magazines practically barricading me inside my room . . .

The thousands of news stands, each a different story, but somehow involving me with Cam, doing something near a hospital last night.

Would they make me leave Gallagher?

Would Ms. Morgan let them?

Please say no.

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><p><span>Cammie POV<span>

It was spring break.

Normally . . . I would go back to Nebraska . . . or get debriefed by the CIA like after I broke up with Josh . . . or maybe go on vacation with Bex in London (which caused a whole bunch of drama in my life which I totally wish I could have skipped), but this . . . me and Liz were staying at a grand hotel . . . with Macey livingin her "fortress" (as her parents called it) just a few blocks away in the middle of . . . well . . . _somewhere._

We were there for the "moral-support-every-teenage-girl-slash-senator's-daughter-needs-when-she-hits-17" issue.

Bex was helping her parents with the whole MI6 thing. (Apparently, the Baxter's needed Bex's help with something that involved stabbing and paperclips. So, Bex was all game) which meant she wasn't here.

Macey called last night . . . for some of that "moral-support-stuff." (although I wouldn't exactly call what we went through "moral.")

I met her at the hospital. I stood up for her.

But now the only problem was . . . how was I going to deal with this?

People all over the world knew about "Macey McHenry's friend from the Gallagher Academy that got an abortion."

What people _didn't_ know was that I could probably kill them with a nail file.

Which . . . didn't seem like such a bad idea right now . . .

But what was I gonna do about the people all over the world who _knew _me? Who _cared _about me. Who would _never _let me get an abortion. Who were probably freaking out as they saw that picture of me and Macey from last night . . .

Asking how someone like me . . .

So average and "normal". . .

Could be best friends with Macey McHenry—daughter of Senator McHenry.

How we could have anything in common at all.

Well . . . all I had to say was . . .

Don't judge a girl by her cover. (especially if that cover involves her getting an "abortion!")

I decided I should probably eat something (and yes . . . even spies get hungry.)

As I got up from the couch I asked Liz if she wanted anything to eat. She briefly looked up and said she'd be there in a minute, that she we almost done analyzing my voice and heart rate from a video clip some reporter got last night.

I opened the hotel's mini-fridge. Only a couple of sodas.

I was a little soda-ed out.

"I think we'll have to eat out Liz!" I yelled.

"It's fine," she said, "Macey's paying, remember?"

"Oh, yeah. Are you ready yet?"

"Yeah, one sec . . . let me grab my bag."

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><p>(still cammie pov)<p>

"Okay . . . so . . . it turns out that you pretty much did this perfectly." Liz started as we walked down the stairwell.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"From analyzing your heart rate, body language, and eye dilation from the clip, you did the perfect thing. Your body language and pulse control was absolutely perfect! But your eyes dilated ever so slightly, causing everyone on the inside—everyone like us—to know you were lying, but still making everyone on the out, think it's true!"

Wow. Talk about lack of air.

"Only problem is, Liz, nobody besides you and whoever filmed that, is ever going to see that clip. Only the one still shot."

Which (in a way) was a good thing, because if we weren't there for _me _(or in this case, the "baby"), what (or who) would we be at that hospital for?

"Dangit!" she yelled, probably echoing throughout the entire building.

"So what should we have?" I asked—trying to change the subject.

"Ugh. I don't know. I don't care." Liz said (obviously still upset from the whole "being wrong" incident).

"Okay then . . ." I said when the waitress came to the table, "Um, I'll have an ice tea and French fries, please.'

Mean while, Liz was banging her head against the table, so the waitress didn't even try to get anything out of her, gave her a very questionable look (which I guarantee if Bex saw, would have knocked the crap out of her), and walked away.

"Liz! Relax!" I yelled, snapping her back into normality (. . . well, _somewhat_).

She just pouted—severely pissed off.

"Everyone's gonna think it's true then, Cam! Your mom is gonna go nuts! And Solomon will be pissed. Oh my gosh! Just think about Tina and . . . what will Zach think?"

I seriously did not know what any of them would think.

(Well, except maybe Tina, who was probably talking about how I was having an affair with a middle eastern terrorist while I disabled a bomb strapped across his chest as he tried to blow up a world famous museum fill of treasured artifacts . . . and trust me, I was giving her the _benefit _of the doubt.)

But would my own mother really think I'd do that?

And what about Solomon?

And Zach?

Oh my God. I just really do not wanna know.

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><p><strong>AN: Yay! Another chapter up and running! Sorry, it takes a while for me to type long chapters...yup. So review. Make me a happy happy person today. **

**This is mostly an intro until we make it to the real story line. My fav chaps up next :)**

**So until I finish all my summer homework . . .**

**~m**


	3. I couldn't do it

**AN: *Sigh* I know...I haven't updated in about 1,000 years. *hangs head in shame***

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><p><span>~Chapter: 3~I Couldn't Do It~<span>

**(Macey POV)**

I couldn't do it.

How could I?

I could never kill something so innocent_—someone_ so innocent.

So…yeah…..I kept the baby.

She was a girl.

Or…a _Gallagher_ girl.

So, I guess it was pretty cool.

I wasn't sure how I was supposed swing the whole spy-school thing, though. (Because I know that being a spy is hard. Being a girl is hard. The whole pregnant thing was _definitely _hard. But, I wasn't really sure about the whole pregnant-spy-girl stuff.)

So, tomorrow me and all my classmates would be returning for my last semester (ever!) and what the hell was I supposed to do about it?

Not even Cam knew I kept her. When should I tell them? Should I call?

Well, it'd probably be better in person…right?

So should I meet them somewhere?

I dialed Liz's cell.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hey, can I meet you guys somewhere so we can talk?"

"Yeah, we are actually eating at the super-duper expensive and fancy hotel you made us stay at. Why don't you come waste some of your father's money with us?"

"Sounds like a party. I'll be there in a few."

"Okay, bye," said Liz, before hanging up.

Okay…so, sneaking out again…I guess it couldn't be that hard. (I am a spy, after all.)

My parents ended up seeing the paper by the way, and apparently thought the appropriate punishment was grounding me…So, I was in my room…"packing."

I blasted some music, locked my door, and pushed my bed in front of it—just in case those other sad excuses of people that also took up oxygen in my home decided to use their brains for just once.

I slid open my window and climbed out (as quickly as a girl wearing 5 inch heels ever could) and landed gently on my feet. I hopped the backyard fence, landing in my neighbor's yard.

I ran across the grass and tapped on Nick's window.

He was one of my best friends. I grew up here, so we were really close.

"Come in Macey," he said as he opened the window and I stepped inside, (I guess he still remembered our secret knock).

"Hey, Nick," I said as I sat on the edge of his couch, "What's up?" I asked smiling evilly.

"Well...nothing much, except…would you like to explain something to me?" he asked as he held up one of those dreaded magazines.

"Oh…" was my brilliant response.

"Talk," he said, simply.

"Well…I …it's just…um…you know Preston?" I finally stuttered.

"Winters?"

"That's the one. Um well. Me and him…had a…mishap? …Um and Cammie was…um…there..to well…support me?" I said, a single tear dripping down my face.

"So _you_ were the one getting it?"

"Yes," I quietly answered, "But I didn't end up getting one. I just couldn't do it. I don't think I could ever live with doing that."

By now I was full on sobbing, tears streaming down my entire face.

Thank the Lord for waterproof makeup.

"It's okay, Macey," he said as he scooped me up and cradled me—crying into is shoulder, "It's okay."

I just cried.

I let it all out.

I cried because I didn't know what was next.

I cried because I didn't know what everyone would think of me.

But most importantly, I cried because I didn't feel alone; like someone actually cared—that I wasn't alone in this.

"So…" he started when I'd calmed down again, "that means you're pregnant?"

"Yeah."

"You don't look like it," he said as he rubbed my belly, soothing me.

"It's only been a week and a half."

"I'm so sorry," he whispered as he pulled a strand of hair away from my face and rested his head on top of mine, which leaned against his shoulder.

"Why?" I asked.

"Well," he paused, "because . . . I love you Macey. . ."

I thought about that for a minute . . . and I did love him—too.

"I love you, too, Nick."

We sat quietly for a minute, until he broke the silence.

"So, I doubt you were just coming over here to socialize . . . any other motives, Mace?"

"Yeah. I need to steal your car."

"Excuse me?"

"I wasn't gonna bring it back . . . but since we had this fun little talk . . . I'll consider it," I said, winking.

"Macey, Macey, Macey, always high jacking cars that aren't hers . . . what are we going to do with you?"

"Haha . . . well this time, I'm grounded . . . and I need to see my friends before I get shipped off to school again tomorrow . . . so can I have the keys or do I have to pick the lock?"

"Here you go," he said, handing me the keys, "but be careful."

"Bye," I said, grabbing them, jumping off the couch, and climbin gout the window.

Hopefully . . . the girls would still be there, waiting.

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><p><strong>AN: review, por favor ;)<strong>

**love,**

**~m  
><strong>


	4. Restaurant

~Chapter: 4~Restaurant~

**(Macey POV)**

"Hey guys," I said, walking up and taking my seat.

"Hi, Macey. Jeez, what took you so long?" Cammie asked.

"Sorry," I said, "had to steal the neighbor's car."

"You're not kidding are you?" Liz asked, a horrified expression on her face.

I just winked.

The waitress came then, taking my order—nachos (which I had just started craving a few minutes ago. Hello pregnancy. Let the random cravings and/or mood swings begin).

"So what's up?" Cammie asked.

"Nothing really…my parents saw the magazine, so they grounded me—not that I care—asked the neighbor for his car—seriously, Liz, Stop hyperventilating! He gave me the keys! Some spy you are—and yeah, so here I am."

"Cool…so…you wanted to talk to us?" Liz asked.

"Yeah…um…guys…I couldn't do it…" I said, my eyes filling up with tears, "I kept the baby."

They each let out a low gasp.

Silence.

"So…I guess the question is…how are we going to do this?" asked Cam.

"Well…" Liz started, really thinking this through, "So we leave for Gallagher tomorrow right? So then after Cammie gets tackled by an innumerable amount of questions, they eventually figure out it wasn't true. That it was a cover…so Macey would…well, you know…not get ambushed. But they'll figure out it was really Macey when they do the standard health test…and see you're still pregnant…So they'll most likely give you a pas on P&E and some field work after 6 months, 'cause you know the last are usually the worst. So…you might be covered," Liz stated with a very pleased grin on her face.

"Hmm. Sounds good to me," I said, smiling. "But, what about summer? My parents still think it was Cam…they don't know…I'd kind of like to keep it that way."

"I agree," said Cammie, "that would be horrible if they knew…What if we all went on a "vacation" and have the baby while you're like…gone. And they would never even know."

"That'd probably be best, Macey. Bex would be all for it."

"I like it."

Well…secrecy, deception…not telling my parents…

I was liking this plan already.

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><p><strong>AN: I've decided to shorten my chapters. Same story. Exact same number of words. Broken into more chapters. Most likely more updates more often.<strong>

**Review pleeeaaaassse**

**I keep getting all these lovely emails that say "*fill in the blank* has added you to their fav story list" or "*jane doe* has added you to their story alert list"**

**but jane doe and fill inthe blank didn't review!**

**and reviews make me wanna update FAST**

**like edward cullen chasing after jacob black because he hates his bloody guts fast.**

**Review! :)**


	5. Bookstore and Distracted

~Chapter: 5~Bookstore~Distracted~

I drove back to Nick's house, returning the car. (I'm not that much of a thief.) I thought about …well, my extremely screwed up life… And how I was gonna work this out. I mean, I didn't know the first thing about being pregnant…and like raising a baby…

So…how was I going to swing this?

Should I start researching or something?

I could always read up on it, right?

Should I go get some books on it?

Seriously, even though the library at the Gallagher Academy had hundreds of books like _The Disabling of Nuclear Weapons: Advantages and Disadvantages, _I highly doubted they'd have something along the lines of: _How to Be a Pregnant/Spy/Gallagher Girl and Keep Composure Especially at the Age of Seventeen_! (but that was just a guess)

So even though I was less than a minute and half (one minute and 24 seconds to be exact) away from Nick's house, I made a u-turn (not legally of course) and headed to the nearest book store.

Hopefully, I could find something there.

When I got inside (after much search and debating, if I might add), I finally found the right section.

I grabbed a few different ones and walked up to the register.

The lady who rang me up probably could have been Professor Buckingham's long lost cousin, so when she gave me that questionable look of why a seventeen-year-old girl like me would be purchasing pregnancy books, I just smiled and told her all about how I was taking a health class at our local hospital and I was just so excited and wanted to read ahead and purchase the books before hand while she gabbed about how "wonderful" it was that our "youth" was getting involved in "society" and maybe she would have her "wonderful" granddaughter take the class with me…

I just smiled, nodded, paid, and left.

I finally pulled into Nick's driveway, and hopped through his window again.

I took a seat on the couch while he finished up with something on the computer.

"Took you long enough," he said as I handed him the keys.

"Yeah….well, I had things to do," I responded.

"So whatcha got there?" he asked, pointing to the Barnes and Noble bag in my hand.

"Yeah, sure. Let me see."

"Fine," I said, handing him the bag.

"Wow…okay….._Pregnancy for Beginners_? …_How to Raise Your Baby_?..._Breast Feeding Through the Ages_?...really, Macey? You do realize you are 17, right?"

"Yes…"

"So what are you gonna do?"

"Well…I can't tell my parents. So I'm going back tomorrow—back to school—and I guess I'll just stay away until I have her… "

"Her? Who's her?"

"Oh…um…she's a girl," I said, smiling.

"Great. Because one sarcastic, black-haired, blue-eyed girl isn't enough…now there'll be _two_ super pissed off spy-girls going around murdering people! Can. Not. Wait."

"Haha…" I laughed. "Wait…" Did he say _spy-girls_? "…how do you know that?"

"Know what?" he asked.

"You said _spy-girls_."

"Oh…well…the thing is Mace….I go to Blackthorne. For Boys."

"No way! Why didn't you tell me, you jerk!" I screamed as I started beating him with a pillow. "Ugh! I can't believe you!" He laughed as I sat on top of him, pillow in hands, glaring daggers.

"Is there anything else you'd like to tell me, Blackthorne Boy?" I said, narrowing my eyes and lifting an eyebrow. He just winked, and pulled me down for the kiss. "Why didn't you do the exchange with Gallagher?" I asked, sad that he didn't tell me. Sad that we could have spent all that time together… (hey…pregnancy=emotional!)

"They thought I was already behind enough, 'cause I started the same year you did, hahah." He laughed, "and they didn't want me to get _distracted_," he finished as he tightened his arms around me.

"Hmm….distracted," I murmured as my tongue ringed the inside of his mouth.

"Being an assassin's tough work," he moaned back. And after we finished swapping spit, he asked, "So are you gonna raise her alone?"

"Probably."

He paused to think. "Marry me."

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><p><strong>Yes or no? I'm still unsure! ;)<strong>


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